Fear of rejection is a social animal’s worst fear: when your species survival depends on cooperation, you become hypersensitive for all the clues towards or away from belonging: validation, affirmation, appreciation and reward.
So when there is criticism coming at you and you haven’t done your homework on how to respond, you’re most likely to be unhappy about the words you hear or read, and likely to respond in ways that will further make you — and the others concerned — unhappy.
Before we look at happy-making strategies of response, let’s take a look at criticism, as not all criticism…
Here’s why seeing the world through a Victim’s eye is hard to change, and what you can do about it:
- A Victim is always superior to Villains. Status is a perk hard to renounce
- Victim gets pity, which is a form of attention, and attention nourishes. When one is depleted and disconnected from love, any attention will do, including pity.
- Many social organizations are built upon the Victim-Villain-Rescuer triangle model, with support systems that offers a venue to the Victim to complain about the Villain, organized by Rescuers.
- The Victim has the right to complain, which confers entitlement — another…
Happiness has, in part, to do with how we tell the stories of our lives. The ultimate happy ending is how we die, whether we die well or not. The rest of the story, is how we live.
Life is suffering. Buddhist thought tells you so. Once you get that right, you make it your purpose to remedy that suffering for yourself, your loved ones, and the world.
The stories you read and you watch depict some kind of suffering. We focus on what’s wrong, and it sells — it is a known fact among fiction writers and journalists that…
Health food stores are popping up like mushrooms after rain online and offline, thriving on people’s single-minded obsession with food.
What began as useful awareness that what you put in your body affects the state of your body (and mind!) has turned into an almost religious fervour pursued by those of us seeking to heal ourselves, our families, our pets and our planet.
I, too, have joined the conscious eating masses years ago, resorting to diet as medicine for my ills. I had a difficult, distressful marriage, and was an immigrant into a radically different culture, environment and climate than…
Five Reasons Why You Are Addicted to Television Series and One Big Reason Why Watching Is Good For You
Nobody I know is addicted to documentary. Everybody I know who binges on Netflix, like I do, is addicted to television series.
The difference between the two are emotions. Documentaries present facts while television shows, drama and comedy alike, present emotion. And nobody I know is addicted to cold, objective facts, and everybody I know who is addicted, is addicted to emotion.
1- Emotions are addictive. The great spectrum of human experience moves us deeply, from the surface of our skin…
Anxiety
What it is, causes, cures
The earliest memories of anxiety are from my childhood, when my mother would get ready to go out and I felt an unpleasant coldness in my belly, hands and feet. When I turned eighteen I had my first full-fledged panic attack, when my heart raced so hard that it felt like it was going to break out of my chest, and I thought that I was going to die. …
Tana Saler
Ottawa, Canada based energy healing practitioner and trainer, blogger and speaker. Influenced by the Integral Model and practicing integration in life and work.
